


Humouring The Overlord

by BeetleQueen



Category: Megamind (2010)
Genre: Alien Sex, Aliens, Evil, F/M, Overlord - Freeform, Xenophilia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-04
Updated: 2015-08-04
Packaged: 2018-04-12 23:57:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4499802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeetleQueen/pseuds/BeetleQueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Megamind never shuts up about making Roxanne his Evil Queen, so the reporter agrees. If only to shut him up.<br/>Warnings: this fic includes Megamind using Italian terms of endearment...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Migrated this over from my ff.net account which is now empty of all my fics. Used to go by the pseudonym lasersandspikes back then.

Roxanne sat in the bath, completely spent. This cold, virus, whatever it was had drained the reporter of all her energy, and she laid back in the empty tub, slowly moving the shower head over her sweaty body.

It was too much of an effort to stand for a shower, and she knew if she ran a bath it would rob her of any remaining strength she had, so she settled for a sitting shower.

She'd only just got the last remaining dregs of shampoo out of her hair when there was a loud rapping at her front door.

"Oh for the love of..." She muttered, slipping slightly as she tried to get up. "Fuck it, you'll just have to wait, Megamind..." She continued washing herself, hoping he'd think she wasn't in, and leave.

She then heard a dull scraping noise, and a sudden bang as the door flung open, hitting the opposite wall.

"Son of a-" She was glad she'd locked the bathroom door, but after realising the front door had also been locked, her hopefulness diminished.

The handle to the bathroom door jiggled slightly, and Roxanne's eyes widened.

"Miss Ritchi, do I really have to break down  _another_  door?" He chuckled.

She scowled at the state that her front door was inevitably in, and sunk lower into the tub. "I'm in the bath genius, go the fuck home!"

There was an awkward silence from his side of the door, and after a moment she heard him walking away. Her hopes were dashed at the sudden squeak of leather signalling that he'd taken up residence on her sofa.

Roxanne let out an aggravated huff, and began hauling herself out of the tub. She shakily made her way to the door, and sighed. She had no idea that the blue pest was going to turn up, and therefore hadn't had the presence of mind to take any clothes with her into the bathroom.

She glared at the cow-print bathrobe hanging from one of the pegs on the door, and snatched it, quickly wrapping it around her, and tying the sash by her waist.

The reporter took one last breath to steady her anger, and unlocked the door, swinging it open.

The look in the villain's eyes was unmistakable, and her anger faded slightly.  _'He really needs to get laid, if I'm exciting him this much...'_  Her hair clung to her face, which was puffy, and slightly pink. In short, she did not look good, but he was staring at her as if she were some kind of goddess.

Roxanne rolled her eyes. Clearly the idiot was lost for words, so she'd have to do the talking.

"Megamind, I'm sick. I'm not in the mood for any of your silly games today, so go on," She nodded to the battered looking front door that was still gaping open. "out."

He bit his lip suggestively and waggled the expressive 'caterpillars' above his eyes. "Make me..."

Roxanne pinched the bridge of her nose, letting out a strained groan. "I'm not in the mood right now! Besides, I don't need you catching whatever the hell I've got."

He reclined into the red cushions, propping up one leg on the top of the backrest. His flexibility astounded her, but right now she did her best to ignore his little display.

He grinned at her, showing off the upper set of his pearly teeth. "Oh Roxanne, I didn't know you cared..."

She snorted, shaking her head. "Oh, I'm not concerned about  **you.**  I just know what you're like, you'll be back here whining about how I infected you, and I see enough of you as it is."

"But we could see so much more of each other, my dear!" He swiveled around on the couch so that he was upside down, both of his legs now dangling over the backrest as his head rested on the seat cushions.

Roxanne closed her legs instinctively. The robe was short, and she did not need this man looking up it.

"And why would I want to see more of  **you?** "

He laid his hands across his chest, threading his fingers. "The offer is still open, my sweet..."

Roxanne sighed. He'd mentioned the position of being his "Evil Queen" countless times, and really, it was starting to get beyond a joke.

What did he want from her? Just to sit around the lair like some kind of object; a prize? Or was it something more than that?

"OK."

He blanched in surprise, his green eyes widening like saucers. "W-What?"

"I said OK." She shrugged. "But I can understand if you've changed your mind-"

"No no!" He scrambled off the couch, now waving his hands back and forth. "I most certainly have  **not**  changed my mind!"

Roxanne grinned at how quickly he switched from playing the seductive master of evil to his usual more panicky self. She decided to carry on humouring him.

"Oh, thank goodness..." She whispered huskily, grabbing the "M" catchment to his mantle, pulling him closer. "I was getting worried for a moment." She let her face relax into a coy smile.

His initial surprise melted away as he returned her smile with a sultry one of his own. Roxanne wondered if she should take it just one step further, and resolved to just go with the moment. She pulled him slightly closer until their faces were inches apart.

Megamind's filthy grin widened as he leaned forward, the space between them practically non existent. "Fret not, mi amore...  _Daddy's here now..._ " The reporter bit back a scoff.

He chuckled darkly and Roxanne could feel his breath washing over her face now in silky waves, she unconsciously leaned closer to the warmth, surprised when he broke away.

"Get some rest,  _my angel._  I'll be back for you in the morning..."

He left quickly through the charred front door, snapping it closed behind him.

Roxanne then came to the horrifying realisation of what she had just agreed to, and sat quickly on the couch before she dropped to the floor.

"Oh crap!" She'd been about to tell him it was all just a ruse when he left so fast she'd never even had the chance. "I'm doomed..."

* * *

Minion perked up in his bowl upon hearing his master's dulcet tones echoing through the lair.

"I'm getting married in the moooorning~" The henchfish laughed to himself as he made his way towards the source of the noise. "Ding dong, the bells are gonna chiiiiime~"

"Sir, as much as I love to hear you sing, where's Miss Ritchi? I thought-"

"You thought wrong my fishy friend!" He said with a wide smile. "You'll never  _guess_ what happened, Minion!"

Minion watched as his ward twirled on the spot, his hands over his heart, and a sappy grin tugging at his lips. "Sir, what happened?" He was bouncing on his metallic feet in suspense.

"SHE SAID YES!" Megamind grabbed the bowl with both hands before dancing away, singing once more. "I gotta be there in the moooorning! Spruced up and looking in my priiiiime~"

Minion stood for a moment processing the new information before letting out a girlish scream. "OH MY GOODNESS, I GET TO MAKE A WEDDING DRESS!" He ran after his master, eager to discuss the ideas already forming in his head. _'Something black, but of course with some blue...'_


	2. Chapter 2

Roxanne awoke to a sudden smash. She opened her eyes just in time to see a pair of green ones shine back before she was overcome by blackness again.

"Ahhh, I love the smell of a fainting fiancee in the morning..." He then started coughing violently. "No, wait, that's chloroform!" He picked up the reporter, swaying slightly from the knockout gas, and made for the broken bedroom window.

He mounted the hoverbike, making sure to position Roxanne safely across his chest before starting the engine.

They were half way across the city when Megamind felt the woman stir. He swallowed a groan as he felt her squirm against a very intimate area before her arms suddenly wrapped tightly around him.

"What- W-Where am I?" She looked up and was met with those same green eyes once again. "M-Megamind?"

"The one and only..." He grinned, his tone low and sultry.

Then it hit her as the events from yesterday replayed back in her mind. She nestled closer to him as the wind whipped through her hair.  _'What am I going to do..?'_

When he said he'd see her in the morning, he wasn't kidding. Roxanne took a peek at his wristwatch, confirming the time. It had only just gone 5AM, and even though it was getting close to summer, the mornings were still chilly.

The villain felt her shiver against him, and quickly took one hand from the bike's handles to reach up and unclasp his cape. He draped it around the reporter, and laid an arm across her back stroking her reassuringly.

Roxanne spotted the abandoned observatory as they flew by, and then squeaked as the bike stopped suddenly on the roof of a massive building opposite.

"Lair sweet lair!" She heard him laugh.

He went to stand when he was met with resistance, looking down he saw the reporter still clutching him, her face burrowed in his chest.

"Are you alright?"

She smirked at the genuine concern in his voice. She was going to play this up for all it was worth. He'd broken into her house a second time and nuked her with the knockout spray; no way was he getting off without a little payback.

Besides, this game could be fun.

"I'm just a little afraid of heights." She whispered softly. "That's why I got such a high apartment, I thought it'd desensitise me." This was partly true. She looked up at him with a smile. "Thank you for the cape, it was so chivalrous."

She saw him blush and held back a grin, keeping her expression as simpering as possible.

"Well, what kind of a husband would I be if I did not act accordingly?"

The reporter's eyes widened, and she couldn't hide her surprise.

"H-Husband?" She stuttered.

His face suddenly dropped. "Well, yes, you did say you wanted to be my queen." He looked regretful as he rambled on. "No, of course you wouldn't want to get married. Not to me. No.  _No no no._  You obviously accepted the role for professional reasons, yes, that makes sense-"

She brought a hand to his lips, resting the tips of her fingers on his mouth. He really did go on sometimes.

"Hush your noise." She smirked playfully. "I'll be your queen, but getting married is a bit soon don't you think?" He nodded slightly. "When were you thinking of making a  _dishonest woman_  of me, anyway?"

She removed her hand and waited for his response.

"...infivehours?"

Roxanne shook her head with a snort. "You don't do things by halves, do you?"

"Have you ever known me to?"

She nodded. "You're right, I guess you don't."

He smirked. "Minion's going to be mortified. He's putting the finishing touches on your dress right now..." He held out a hand for her. "Care to take a peek?"

"Isn't it bad luck for you to see it?" She replied, taking his gloved hand.

"Only if you're wearing it, my sweet. Rest assured, I've researched all your human marital customs!"

The thought of Megamind spending his time reading up on such unvillainous things took Roxanne by surprise. If they were supposed to be getting married today, what else had he planned? Had Minion baked an enormous evil cake, too?

He led her to a hatch on the rooftop, bending down to open it before tilting his head. "Ladies first..."

Roxanne felt her lips tug into a smile, and berated herself.  _'Stop being such a goon, sure he's polite, but that doesn't mean this has to go any further! As soon as you see that stupid dress, just break it to him! Tell him you were only messing around...'_

She gave him a nod and walked in front, her hand slipping from his to steady herself on the handrail as she descended the stairs.

When they made it to the main floor of the lair, the villain took her hand once more. Roxanne felt her pulse quicken as his fingers laced with hers.  _'This is the first bit of male contact you've had in years, of course it's going to feel good. But that doesn't mean anything!'_

She took a deep breath as he led her towards a massive red curtain that sectioned off part of the lair. He reached his free hand out and swept it back revealing Minion. Roxanne craned her neck to get a look at the mannequin he was working on, but his enormous body hid the dress from view.

"Knock knock~!" The villain sing-songed getting the fish's attention.

"OH, SIR! And Miss Ritchi!" He spun around with a joyful smile. "Or should I say, soon to be Mrs. Mind?" He brought his metal hands to his bowl giggling.

Roxanne found herself smiling along with him until the blue man interrupted, getting their attention.

"Oh Minion, don't be so foolish. She'll be keeping her own name, I'd expect. She is a strong independent woman, after all."

Roxanne was astounded that he'd practically read her mind. She'd never really been fond of the idea of taking the man's name. She had her career to think about. She was Roxanne Ritchi, ace reporter of KMCP 8 News. She couldn't jeopardise that.

"Besides, we're here to see the dress, Minion."

Minion jumped slightly and rushed out of the way to give the reporter a better look.

Roxanne's mouth dropped open with a pop. It was the most beautiful gown she'd ever seen; and it was hers.

It was predominantly a deep blue, though there was a slight green tinge to it. The accents were black of course, and Roxanne's hands shot out to run over the smooth taffeta. Minion had truly outdone himself.

She let her fingers trail up the long sleeves, stopping to fondle the black lace around the neckline. Below it was a beautiful inbuilt basque, the fabric of which changing subtly from the viridian tinge to a slightly bluer hue. She stroked her fingertips across the intricate brocade, stopping at the waist.

The skirt of the dress billowed out into the most beautiful shape. Roxanne wasn't one for 'cupcake dresses', or petticoats in general, but the volume contrasted perfectly with the formfitting top half of the gown, and the little girl in her was reminded of Disney princesses, and the dreams she used to have of wearing such things.

The skirt had a bustle to the back, and Roxanne imagined herself twirling around a ballroom as it spun around her in blue waves. She allowed herself a sappy grin as her hand continued to run over the fabric.

Megamind's grin stretched as the reporter continued to grope at the dress. "I think she likes it, Minion."

Roxanne whipped back round and before she knew it she had closed the distance between herself and the henchfish, wrapping her arms around the base of his bowl.

She felt the sting of tears, and her stomach lurched in guilt.  _'How am I going to tell him I can't wear it? How do I even begin to say that?'_ She hugged him tighter. "T-Thank you, Minion. It's the most beautiful dress I've ever seen..."

She felt like such a royal bitch. Maybe she  _was_  Evil Queen material? She'd set this in motion, and there was no going back now. The further the lie continued, the worse she was going to feel. But looking up into Minion's overwhelmed little eyes, she just couldn't bring herself to dash his hopes.

* * *

Roxanne's mouth popped open again when she saw the grandeur of the "marital suite".

She'd mentioned still feeling a little weak from yesterday, hoping secretly that the villain would take her home. Instead he insisted she rest here at the lair, and she sighed when he placed his hands over her eyes.

After a few minutes of almost tripping over, and mumbling expletives she felt his hands leave her face and she tentatively opened her eyes.

" **Wow.** "

The bed was enormous. Black and blue silk drapes hung from the top of a four-poster bed. The mattress covered in sheets of the same sumptuous fabric. All the furniture was a shiny lacquered black, carved with the most beautiful shapes of flowers and filigree.

The headboard also had the same intricate carvings, and she was suddenly overcome by the obvious expense of everything in the room. There were more than a few thousand dollars worth in the bed alone.

"Regrettably I won't be bunking up with you  _just yet._ " He nudged her with a wink. "But as soon as I slip that ring on your finger, you won't be able to kick me out of that bed."

She couldn't believe how old fashioned he was being. He really had no intention of sharing this bed until their wedding night? This room was obviously made for just the two of them, and now that she thought about it, it was probably the reason he rushed from her apartment the other day in such a hurry.

He'd gotten all this done in a day, and Minion had crafted that wonderful dress. In a day.

Her head was swimming with thoughts and emotions. She walked over to the bed flopping down on it. "You did all this for me?"

"Miss Ritchi, who else is worth all the effort?" He chuckled, and she heard the door close with a small snap as he left.

"I'm worth  _all this?_ "

She turned onto her side, curling up as she snatched one of the silky pillows, clutching it to her chest.

_'Just sleep on it, Roxanne.'_ Her mind told her.  _'You'll have a clear head later on, and then you can figure this whole mess out.'_


	3. Chapter 3

There was a sudden knocking noise, and Roxanne jerked awake with a start. _'Where am I?'_  She looked down to the silken sheets swaddled around her. _'Oh, that's right...'_

She swept the bedding aside and went to stand up. The reporter swayed slightly, her head pounding.  _'Ok, that's not going to happen...'_ She sat back down, abandoning any plans to open the door herself. "Come in..?"

The door cracked open slightly, and Roxanne looked up to see a familiar pair of green eyes. "You've been asleep for quite a while now. Getting hungry?"

"W-What time is it?" The reporter asked, stifling a yawn.

"7." She narrowed her eyes. They'd got here at 5, that wasn't so long. He smirked realising her confusion. " _PM..._ "

" **What?** " She shot back up, grabbing her head as a second wave of pain coursed through it. "Ugh, I was out for 14 hours?"

"Hmm, looks like that virus from yesterday still has you in it's clutches?"

"Yup." She swayed again on her feet, and a strong arm came up to wrap around her waist. "Oh, thanks." She felt the familiar pang of hunger start to grip at her stomach. "I could do with some dinner actually."

"Fantastic!"

* * *

The food was incredible. Roxanne couldn't believe her eyes when Minion laid plate upon plate in front of her, each piled with the most delicious looking things she'd ever seen.

Forgetting all dignity, and listening purely to her stomach, she ate with gusto. She was so wrapped up in eating that she didn't even notice the villain eying her hungrily from the other end of the table.

After a while the blue man excused himself, and Minion chose that moment to come in and take away several of the reporter's empty plates. The candles were beginning to snuff themselves out one by one, and the room was becoming pleasantly dim.

During the short time Minion was there, Roxanne managed to wheedle out of him the existence of a special cape that was being made purely for the upcoming nuptials.

Minion also admitted to her that he was partially glad of her decision to postpone the big day; this meant he was able to give the "Black Mamba" every last bit of attention it deserved, and as eager as he was to see them walk down the aisle, he didn't want to skimp when it came to their attire.

Now she was curious.

Megamind had called her 'nosy' on occasions, and he really had hit the nail on the head. Roxanne resolved to get a peek of this cape by the end of the day.

She was startled out of her reverie as the door opposite opened again. Megamind took his seat once more, and seemed to beckon to something in the doorway.

A brainbot swooped in, carrying a violin, and another followed dragging a cello. Roxanne was about to speak when they grouped up beside her and began playing.

"Bach? They can play  _Bach?_ "

"You like?" His grin really was infectious, and she found herself returning one of her own.

"Certainly better than an iPod." She watched the one with the violin in awe as it's bow-arm zigzagged back and forth, and the 'fingers' on another tendril adjusted themselves on the strings.

"You know, it really is  _fascinating..._ "

"What is?" He was giving her a familiar look now, and she wasn't sure whether or not to encourage him.

"How even in the darkest of rooms, your beauty seems to shine."

Oh god, he went there...

Roxanne couldn't help it, her cheeks were burning from that goofy line. "You really think I'm beautiful?" It was the first time someone had outright said it. In the past she'd been called attractive, hot, sexy, but the only people to call her beautiful were her parents, and she assumed that was only because they were biased.

"Roxanne, I'd have to be blind and deaf not to."

She felt completely overwhelmed; suddenly the dark state of the room became a major plus point. Maybe her blush wasn't as obvious as it felt?

"U-Umm, thank you..." Was all she managed to blurt out.  _'Smooth, Roxanne, really smooth. Get a grip!'_

She looked up and felt a jolt of surprise when her eyes locked with his. The candlelight, dim as it was, was causing his already vibrant eyes to glow.

_'God, he looks so good...'_ She blinked quickly, looking away. "So, did you have to program them to play music or..?" She left the question hanging, hoping for a reply.

"Well, as a group they watch and learn in the environment around them."

"Wait, how did they learn to play in the first place, just pick up a violin and- Oh..." Suddenly it clicked. Of course Megamind played the violin. What else at this point could possibly surprise her?

He merely smiled.

"Why didn't you ever say anything?"

"Well, it's not especially villainous, is it?"

"If I recall, The Phantom played the organ?"

"Yes, well, The Phantom wasn't a villain, was he? Just a..." He flushed slightly. "Love sick fool."

Roxanne felt her heart tug. "Nothing like you, then?" Even in the darkness his blush was unmistakable. "So, if you can play, why not serenade me yourself?"

His hands shot across the table to take hold of hers. "Because I thought I may need to keep my hands free. For... other things."

Oh god, would he stop with the smoulder, already? That seductive look was really doing a number on her resolve.

"And... what were you thinking of using them for?"

The tension in the air was so thick, Roxanne could feel it.

Megamind's lips opened briefly, on the verge of response when-

"DESSERT TIME!"

_'God damn it Minion...'_  Megamind released the reporter's hands and crossed his arms with a childish huff.

* * *

Roxanne had retired to bed after dinner, still feeling slightly under the weather.

She woke up to the pitch blackness of the 'marital suite', and reached for her phone. Flipping it open she saw it had just gone 1AM, so she slowly got out of bed, and into her slippers. At least she was feeling better than before. She put it down to a stomach full of good food.

The reporter slowly opened the bedroom door, trying to be as silent as possible. She padded down the cold metallic hallway, almost tripping over a 'sleeping' Brainbot, and came to the main part of the lair.

Just beyond the red curtained off section there was another part to the lair. Minion had admitted to the new cape being locked in a cabinet; but it was a super tip-toppy-tip-top secret, and he wasn't going to spoil the surprise.

Roxanne walked towards the glass cabinet; the collar looked huge, but the whole thing was obscured by the frosted glass. She squinted her eyes trying to get a clearer look, but the swirling fog surrounding it made it beyond impossible.

"Dry ice? What the hell?" She glared at the padlock, slapping it. "No fair..."

She was about to trudge back to bed when-

"MISS RITCHI!"

_'Damn it Minion!'_  Roxanne grabbed her chest in terror, spinning round. "You almost gave me a heart attack! What're you doing up so late?"

"I might ask you the same question." His expression softened when he spotted her fluffy slippers.  _'Oh, they're like peas in a pod!'_

"Sorry, you got me all curious. And being the nosy reporter I am..." She trailed off with a nervous laugh.

"Understood, Miss Ritchi." He smiled warmly. "Anyway, you're not the only one who's impatient." Roxanne cocked an eyebrow. "Take a look at the padlock; he's picked it several times, now..."

Roxanne snorted. "If he's already spoiled the surprise, does that mean I can get a look at it..?" Minion narrowed his bulbous eyes. "Oh, c'mon! He's seen my dress; it's only fair."

Minion couldn't help but relent, she was right after all. And during the whole construction of this cape, he'd longed for the chance to show it off. He'd finished it anyway, so Roxanne would be seeing it in it's full glory.

"Oh, alright then... But just a  **peek.** " He took a key out of one of the compartments of his suit and went about unlocking the cabinet.

The doors flung open, most likely on a spring system.  _'Such a showoff...'_  She smiled. The fog that surrounded the cape curled out revealing something Roxanne had not expected. "Oh my god, it's amazing..."

Minion danced on the spot, clearly delighted with her reaction. "You really think so?" He knew the answer; this was his best work yet.

"I really do." The reporter reached out a hand and ran her fingers over the mantle. The spikes were enormous, but for some reason paired with the massive collar, it all just worked.

It was showy, it was brash, it was over the top, and it was crazy, but it was also beautiful, magnificent, and one of a kind.

Just like him.


	4. Chapter 4

"Why're we on the roof..?" Roxanne swung her legs over the side of the building, dangling them over the edge.

"Patience my dear, you'll see soon enough..."

Roxanne huffed impatiently. "Fine..."

After a few minutes of just sitting Megamind broke the silence with a chuckle. "Muahahaaa, just as I thought!"

Roxanne looked down at the sidewalk and spotted Hal making his way slowly towards the station.

The villain drew his De-Gun and leaned over her shoulder with a smirk. "Wanna have some fun..?"

Roxanne was horrified, until she remembered all the gun seemed to do was turn things into blue cubes. He waggled the weapon at her and she tentatively took it.

Not many people knew Roxanne was a good shot, but it had been something she dabbled with when visiting her uncle as a kid. Her dad had been mortified upon finding out his precious princess was wielding firearms, but even he had to admit she was remarkably skilled at such a young age.

_'Daddy's little princess, grown up into an Evil Queen...'_

Just as Roxanne lined up the shot, Megamind's gloved hand ghosted over her own, adjusting the barrel with a click. "Carry on..." He grinned.

The reporter took aim again and slowly squeezed the trigger.

A bright orange beam hit the cameraman, and Roxanne almost dropped the gun in shock.  _'Isn't it usually blue?'_

"BULL'S EYE!" Megamind hollered triumphantly.

Right at that moment the freckled man doubled over grabbing his gut. "Bathroom! Oh jeez, I need to find a bathroom!" He dashed inside the building, his legs buckled in pain.

Roxanne gave the gun a second look and burst out laughing upon reading the barrel; 'De-Regulate'.

Tears of laughter started spilling out from the corners of her eyes, and she grabbed the alien's shoulder to steady herself.

In no time at all they were both laughing uncontrollably. Megamind could hardly stand, her laughter was so infectious, and he quickly leaned against the raised edge of the building sniggering like an idiot.

Roxanne spun round and dropped back onto the roof beside him. At this point they were still laughing, and everytime they tried to look one another in the eye, they were overcome again and again.

The villain was clutching his sides, and he could feel tears beading in his eyes. His chest hurt so badly, but he was so caught up in the moment that even thinking about trying to catch his breath was becoming hilarious.

The reporter slid down the wall into a giggling heap, grabbing the blue man's cape and pulling him down with her. He fell against her, and somehow they both ended up on the floor.

Roxanne felt a hard smack as she landed on her back and looked up with a blush. Megamind was on top of her, his thin waist between her knees.

His hands had shot out in an instinctive bid to stop himself crashing into her, and as a result she was trapped beneath him.

Megamind could feel his face becoming more heated, "Well, I guess that stopped us..." he made to get up when Roxanne extended an arm, grabbing the silver insignia in the middle of his shoulder guards.

He put up no fight whatsoever as he felt himself being gently tugged in her direction. His chest was heaving with desire, and Roxanne's lips parted in expectation as he drew nearer.

Their faces almost touching, the villain gave her one last look of confirmation. She gave him a small nod, and let her eyes slide shut as his lips finally pressed against hers.

Releasing the silver pin, Roxanne swung an arm around his neck deepening the kiss. She smiled against his lips when she heard him moan softly, and flicked out her tongue.

He jolted suddenly, and the reporter used his surprise to her advantage, slipping the pink muscle into his mouth. He whimpered on top of her, his hands clawing slightly at the floor as the hand behind his neck moved up to trace patterns on his scalp.

Megamind shivered at her attentions, never wanting them to end. Oh god, how he wanted those hands running over every inch of him, he felt a familiar twinge below the belt and broke the kiss.

There was no way he could allow this to escalate. Not until they were married. He wouldn't defile her in this way, not before their wedding night.

He was the bad guy, but he still had values.

* * *

Roxanne had been beyond peeved when Megamind put an abrupt stop to their rooftop shenanigans.

She'd finally succumbed to her overwhelming attraction to the man, and before the reporter had even got to 2nd base, he'd all but pushed her away.

The reporter couldn't help but feel a little rejected. The dinner afterwards had been as wonderful as it had been the previous day, but the awkward silence between the two of them ruined the evening.

She'd retired to bed early, not out of any tiredness; just to get out of his face for now.

Earlier she thought she'd heard something in her room when she took her shower, but dismissed it. There were always strange noises in the lair, usually because Megamind was experimenting with dangerous chemicals or testing new equipment. Roxanne quickly learnt to ignore it.

She was now lying in bed, nestled in the silky bedding. She leaned over and grabbed her iPod off the bedside table, pushing the earbuds in before curling back into the bed.

Roxanne flicked idly through her playlists before coming to an abrupt stop.  _'He didn't...'_  She tentatively clicked the playlist titled "First Dance", and her eyebrows arched in surprise at the one and only song in the folder.

She clicked again, her breath quickening as the lyrics kicked in.

_I could stay awake just to hear you breathing_  
_Watch you smile while you are sleeping_  
_While you're far away and dreaming_  
_I could spend my life in this sweet surrender_  
_I could stay lost in this moment forever_  
_Where every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure_

Roxanne ripped the headphones out, flung the covers off and made for the door; her slippers forgotten by the edge of the bed.

After frantically searching the lair she came to a stop when she saw a familiar skinny, big-headed silhouette through a doorway.

Without thinking, she made her way towards him, but as he became more clear she slowed. The man was only wearing a towel. Luckily he was facing the other way, so the reporter gingerly turned to leave.

Staring shamelessly at the slight hint of a cleft she saw above the towel, she tripped, colliding with one of the work tables, scattering pencils everywhere.

Megamind spun round, and sighed in relief when he saw the reporter. "Oh, it's just you... What's wrong, couldn't you sleep?"

He started walking towards her, but as soon as he turned Roxanne's hands flew up to her face in horror.

He looked genuinely puzzled by the panicked look on her face. He followed her line of sight down to his chest, and mentally kicked himself. The things you could forget...

"Ah yes," He trailed a finger absentmindedly over a bulbous line of silvery flesh. "The untold joys of a live autopsy..."

Roxanne's eyes studied the huge t-shaped collection of scars. The first gash went from nipple to nipple, while the other stretched from the pit of his throat, just between his collarbones to his navel.

_'No wonder he wears those high-necked bodysuits.'_ She reached out, about to touch his chest, when she paused. "They don't hurt, do they?"

He allowed himself a shy smile. "No, they've been there quite some time now." Roxanne arched her eyebrows, urging him to continue. "I'd just turned ten," He took a deep breath, "after all the business at shool when I set the paint bomb off, a lot of government agencies became  _interested_  in me."

"And..?" She had a feeling she wasn't going to enjoy the next part, but she just had to know.

"And... After a few failed attempts at abduction, they finally succeeded." He paused for a moment, beginning to feel rather exposed. "I woke up, looked down, and saw my own heart beating back at me; and let me tell you, it's not the most pleasant experience!" He chuckled, trying vainly to give the subject a lighthearted air. Roxanne's horrified expression told him he was failing, so he stopped.

"And then what happened?" Her eyes were wide, and frightened.

"Just when I was about to faint I was administered a huge dose of adrenalin," He watched sadly as tears started to pool in her eyes, "they didn't want me passing out from the pain-"

"Weren't you even anaesthetised?"

"Uhh, that would be a no." He shrugged slightly. "No way you can get a proper set of results if the subject can't feel what you're doing to it... Right?"

Roxanne looked at the thick shiny scars; the mental image of a small, helpless blue boy being split apart from the middle, unable to do anything invaded her mind.  _'He probably thought he was going to die...'_

"I can put a shirt on if this is freaking you out..." Roxanne's face snapped up to look into his eyes again. "I mean, I can understand if you find it disgusting-"

"I don't find it disgusting at all." The reporter closed the distance between them, wrapping her arms around the villain. She heard the breath hitch in his throat as she ran her hands down the silky expanse of blue flesh, her fingertips tickling his waist. "I find you beautiful."

"R-Roxanne..." He gasped as her hand slid down to the top of the towel. "P-Please... s-stop..."

Roxanne withdrew her hand immediately. Was this why he wasn't sharing the bed? Was he so shy about his body?

She didn't have time to wonder before he spoke again. "I just don't think I'd be able to keep my hands off you if you didn't." He was blushing furiously now. "I wouldn't want to jeopardise what we have before it's even started and..." He swallowed loudly. "I want to do this properly. With you as my wife."

Roxanne let out the breath she'd been unconsciously holding. She took a step back, letting her fingertips trail over the front of his chest. "You don't mind me touching these, do you?" He shook his head, and the reporter brought her face down to lay gentle kisses along the thick lines of scar tissue.

Using his contented sighs as the green light, Roxanne let her tongue trail a wet line up the long raised strip of flesh running down his chest.

"Oh ffu- uhh, god..." He corrected himself at the last minute. It was terrible manners to curse in front of a lady, but right now her mouth was driving him back into his old prison habits. Megamind wanted to moan such dirty, filthy words right now, but didn't know if she liked that kind of thing, so he stuck with safe, monosyllabic grunts and mewls.

His hand came to tangle in her hair, and Roxanne kissed and licked her way slowly towards one of his nipples. She took the nub of flesh into her mouth, twirling the tip of her tongue over the peak. The reporter smirked, feeling it perk up and harden under her attentions.

The villain squirmed beneath her mouth, his toes trying to curl. "R-Roxanne..."

She let him go with a pop, and stared up at him, grinning. "Megamind?"

The sound of his name falling off her lips was pleasing in so many ways; and his crotch seemed in full agreement.

Roxanne gave him one last devilish smirk before giving the same consideration to the other nipple. The villain groaned as he felt her talented tongue lave it's way around the sensitive flesh.

Her ministrations were having a rather obvious effect on him, as the portion of towel between his legs started to rise in a tent.

"And you wanted me to stop~" She looked up at him stroking a finger over his belly.

"I-I just want to do the right thing by you..."

Roxanne smiled sweetly, he really was the perfect gentleman, even under such strain. "Listen, I'm what you could call a modern woman. I don't mind the idea of a quick test-run before the big day."

She let her hand settle on the trapped member under the towel, giving it an affectionate pet. He gasped, arching to her touch.

"Are you s-sure..?"

"Absolutely."

Their next steps were a blur as the pair navigated their way to the sumptuous honeymoon suite. Megamind's arms were wrapped around the reporter, and one of his hands reached down to grope at her shamelessly.

"Do you have any idea how much willpower it took not to grab this," He squeezed her rear boldly, "during kidnappings?"

Roxanne chuckled against his neck. "Was I that distracting?" She nibbled the skin between his neck and shoulder, and he let out a low moan.

"Temptress..."

The reporter felt the backs of her knees hit the bed, and smiled as a pair of blue hands dislodged themselves from her ass to grip her shoulders, firmly pushing her onto the mattress.

Roxanne grabbed the man, pulling him down on top of her. She wasted no time in finding his mouth again and starting up another passionate kissing session.

Megamind felt a tug by his waist and looked down to see Roxanne smirking, a hand clenched around the fuzzy piece of cloth. He was astounded it had stayed on this long.

The brunette gave it another tug, bringing him out of his reverie. "Ready to submit, villain?"

He bit his lip, a sultry smirk spreading across his face. "Oh, I'll submit..." He grabbed both of her legs, pulling her swiftly towards him, and spread them; the front of her robe now perilously close to opening. "But only when I'm good and ready..." She lay there, dazed by both his actions, and the arousal they were stirring in her.

Roxanne wordlessly began removing her silk bed robe, revealing herself to be completely naked. Megamind watched on hungrily as she continued to strip. The reporter threw the flimsy robe to one side before propping herself up on her elbows.

"You're starting to look a little overdressed." Her hands found the top of the towel and she grinned. "Would you like me to help remedy that?" He gave her a small nod, and she proceeded to unravel the fabric, slowly sliding it down his thin hips.

Megamind resisted the intense urge to shy away, to blush, to stutter, and in short make a complete fool out of himself. Roxanne ran a fingertip softly over the newly exposed section of flesh, starting at the pitch black curls of hair, and ending halfway down his raised shaft.

He shuddered under her touch, and she sat up, leaning in to plant kiss after kiss down his scars again.

Megamind was glad of the bed, because if his knees buckled now, at least it would make for a soft landing. He found it harder and harder to keep himself knelt like this; all he wanted to do was push the feisty reporter onto her back and have his wicked way.

She was such a tease, never touching him where he wanted it. Sure she'd come close, but as soon as he started to get his hopes up she dashed them by trailing her kisses in the other direction.

A few times he groaned in frustration, and he could swear he heard her chuckle darkly.  _'And to think, she turned down being my evil queen for so long. The title was_ _ **made**_ _for her...'_

He'd wanted her for so long, and now she was here, naked, willing, giving the parts of him he'd sooner forget the most tender, loving kisses. The perk about having such deep scars was their hypersensitivity, and he dismissed his own disgust in them to fall prey to the wonderful sensations.

Roxanne's mouth was creeping dangerously low now. He felt the heat of her breath wash over him, and reflexively jutted his hips towards it.

Wasting no time the reporter slid the hard length into her mouth. One of Megamind's hands flew up to her hair as he let out something between a throaty groan and a gasp.

"Oh, wow..." One of Roxanne's hands slid up to cup his balls, and he lost it. "F-Fuck!" He froze, looking down in embarrassment, but the mouth engulfing his cock was upturned in a smirk.

Her eyes fixed on his watching him intently as she continued to suck. He threw his head back, unable to stand it any longer.

"Oh, yes... Oh fuck,  **yes...** " His grip on her hair became firmer, and he rocked his hips in small needy thrusts. "R-Roxanne, oh god, Roxanne..."

She loved that he'd dropped the whole Miss Ritchi spiel recently. Hearing him actually say her first name, and in the heat of passion no less, it sounded even sweeter.

Roxanne let her lips slowly slide back, breaking apart, before promptly taking him back in. She continued until she felt him begin to twitch slightly; leaning back, she let him slide out of her mouth one last time.

He gave a small whine of protest, until she took the length in her hand, slowly guiding it toward her dripping entrance. Megamind sucked in sharply when he felt the warm wetness against his tip.

Roxanne lined him up, allowing just an inch to slip past the moist ring of muscles between her legs. She looked up at him again, her hair disheveled, and a warm glow creeping across her freckled cheeks.

"Make me your queen?" She whispered huskily.

He grabbed her hips, unable to contain himself, and thrust himself up to the hilt.

Roxanne cried out, her legs wrapping round his thin hips for leverage. She crossed her ankles, forcing him deeper.

"Oh, yes..."

Along with his studies of the etiquette behind human marital affairs, he had taken the time to extensively research the female anatomy.

He wanted so desperately to please her, and a lot of the online articles insisted that her pleasure was paramount before his own.

He was aware fully of the theory involved, it was just the putting into practice that he'd not been able to do; until now.

One of his hands slipped from her hips to hover just above her mound. It was now or never.

He let two of his fingers slide either side of the bundle of nerves before rubbing them vigorously. He'd heard that the best way to maximum effect was pretty much the same as driving; the ten-and-two position.

Roxanne's back arched at the increased stimulation between her legs, and she reached up to grip his shoulders. "Oh my god!"

Megamind made a mental note to go back to that article in the future and give it a 'thumbs up'.

He continued to thrust as his fingertips stroked more roughly at her clit. She was close, he could tell. Her eyebrows knotted, and her lower lip found it's way between her teeth as she whimpered and squealed.

"Oh, M-Megami-ind... I'm c-co- I'm-" Roxanne's whole body tensed, and shuddered, " **O-Ohhh...** " before limply falling back onto the bed.

The villain continued to pump into her, his own orgasm not far off. The clenching of her walls hadn't been enough to tip him over the edge, but with a few more shaky thrusts he finally spilled inside her.

"Oh, Roxanne..." He gave a few final weak torques before pulling out, and collapsing beside her.

The reporter wrapped her arms around his neck, drawing him into a soft kiss. "Where did you learn to do that?" She smirked.

"...Internet." He blushed. Roxanne let out a snort of laughter.

"You are too cute, Mr." She let one of her hands trail from behind his neck to pet the neat strip of hair on his chin. "I've been thinking..." She gave him a coy smile.

"Well, don't keep me in suspense, temptress." He waggled his eyebrows with one of his trademark grins.

"I've been thinking," She repeated, "that maybe I'm ready." He quirked an eyebrow, not understanding. "Marriage, Megamind. I'm saying yes."

His grin doubled. "Oh, Roxanne, do you really mean it?" He looked like a kid in a candy store.

"Yes!" She curled her arms around him in another hug, nuzzling against his bare chest.

He sighed contentedly before chancing, "Am I really that good, then?"

Roxanne smacked him playfully. "Yes, but that's only half the reason."

"And the other half..?" He queried.

"Because I love you."

Megamind could've sworn he forgot the basic principle of breathing. He looked down at her, his eyes wide. "Truly?"

"Truly."

He bowed slightly to plant a soft kiss on the top of her head. "I love you too..."

Roxanne nestled against him, bringing some of the silk sheets up to drape over them.

"You look tired, close those pretty peepers and get some rest."

"Don't wanna fall asleep." He yawned.

The reporter smirked. "Because you'd miss me, babe?"

"...I don't wanna miss... a thing." He mumbled before his eyes slid shut.


	5. Chapter 5

Something was definitely different this morning; the bed was warmer than usual, and the sheets were so soft.

He cracked open an eye; this wasn't his bedroom.

Megamind made to stretch when he felt something pinning him to the mattress. He lifted his head slightly and looked down the length of the bed. Entwined with his legs were a set of peach ones, though notably curvier than his.

His eyes travelled slowly up to see an arm slung lazily over his scarred torso, and the brunette head of one Roxanne Ritchi laid across his chest.

There was suddenly a high pitched series of beeps, and the arm on him lifted up to scramble across the bedside table, grabbing a cellphone, and flipping it open with one hand.

"Oh, hi Bill. Sure, I'll be in ASAP. K, bye." She clicked a red button, and dropped the phone onto the sheets before curling back around the alien.

"Your boss?"

"Sorry, I thought you were still asleep..." She grinned up at him sheepishly.

"After that cacophony? No, I'm very much awake."

"He wants me to come in later, which is understandable; yesterday was my last paid sick day. It's a bit weird of him to call, though..." She shrugged.

"I think your perspective on 'weird' may be a little skewed, dear." Roxanne raised an eyebrow. "Last night you managed to lure the most diabolical," He laid a kiss on her shoulder, "evil," and another, "wicked," his kisses were now trailing up her neck, "villainous, not to mention extra terrestrial, man into your bed... And you think your boss checking up on you is weird?"

Roxanne let herself melt into him as his kisses reached higher and higher. "No, you're right." She stretched as his arms wrapping around her, drawing her closer. "Absolutely right..."

"I'm  _always_  right..." He chuckled before pressing his mouth to hers.

Roxanne let out a contented hum as one of his hands trailed down her back to rest on her ass. "You're obsessed..." She smirked when they broke apart.

"And you're distracting..." His hand squeezed firmly as a familiar look crept onto his features.

Roxanne disentangled herself before hopping off the bed. "And I've got to get ready for work!" She giggled before making her way to the en suite.

"Temptress..." He hissed after her.

* * *

The reporter made her way through the cubicle space on her way to the office when her phone began to buzz. She frowned at the 'unknown caller' prompt that came up, but curiosity got the better of her, and she answered it.

"Hello..?"

"Roxanne!" Came the exuberant reply of her lover.

"Uhhm, I didn't know you had a phone, sweetie."

"Oh, yes. I just finished building one!"

"Wow, you...  _Built_  one? That's impressive." She snuck into an empty cubicle, making sure to look around before sitting down. "So, how's my favourite bad boy, today?" Her tone shifted to a more seductive one.

"Fine." He gave a sad sigh. "Except I'm missing you..." He'd gotten Minion to drive the reporter to work that morning in order to get the last finishing touches on the phone done, and hadn't seen her for since they'd left.

"After only half an hour?" Roxanne smirked; a wicked idea coming to mind. "Well, you know phones are good for other things besides just talking..?"

"What else could they possibly be used for, Roxanne?"

"Oh, you're so sweet sometimes..." She bit her lip, peeking over the cubicle to make sure she was alone. It was still pretty early, so she might as well chance it. "How does the idea of phone-sex grab you?"

Megamind blanched, looking at the trademark spikes he'd decorated it with. "But Roxanne, this thing has no holes! Honestly, stop speaking in riddles!"

She had to slap a hand over her mouth to stop the loud howl of laughter. "Oh my god, you are hilarious!" She sniggered. "No, sweetie, not in the  **literal**  sense. More figurative..?"

"I do not understand."

The reporter grinned; she might as well just show him what she meant. "I'm getting naked, Megamind..."

"W-What? I thought you were at work-"

"Oh shut up for one second will you? Jeez." She looked around sheepishly. "I'm not  _really_  naked. It's called setting the mood." She grinned. "But that doesn't mean  _you_  can't. Go on, get those tight little pants off and tell me what's in there..."

"Oh my... Uhhm, OK." Minion was off running errands, anyway. He could do this.

Roxanne heard a few smacks of rubber against skin, and the low growl of a zipper being pulled slowly south.

"That's right baby, strip for mommy..." She heard the breath hitch in his throat and smirked. "Don't tell me my little boy's gone shy now?"

"Maybe he just needs encouragement..." The villain purred back.

"Oh, well if its encouragement he needs, then I'm just going to have to give him some..." She murmured. "I've been thinking about that blue cock all morning, babe. If I didn't have a job, do you know what I'd do all day?"

"W-What..?" He gulped.

"I'd fucking ride you like a Harley. I'd get you so close to the edge, baby. And then I'd pull you out and watch you come all over me." She grinned hearing his surprised gasp. "Can you do that, honey? Can you come for mommy?"

Oh god, why was this turning him on so much? He didn't even have her physical image handy, yet her narrative was getting him so hard. He bit his lip running a gloved hand down to his freed member.

"Daddy likes the dirty talk..." He rocked against his hand with a moan. "Don't stop now..."

Roxanne's face was boiling now. She had so many 'daddy issues', and was frankly embarrassed that referring to himself in that way was turning her on so much. She shrugged it off, deciding to go with it.

"Mommy wants your hard blue dick, baby."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah..." She resisted the urge to slide a hand under her waistband as his voice became more husky. "Mommy wants you in her mouth. You taste so good."

"Oh, god Roxanne..." He continued to stroke himself, leaning back in his chair. "Oh god, keep going..."

She felt her blush grow as she heard his frenzied gasps over the phone. She held her cell close to her ear, imagining him panting against her neck. "Are your gloves still on, baby?"

"Nng... Y-Yes..."

"I bet they feel real nice against that rock hard dick, don't they?"

" _Ohh-_ "

"I might have to get my own pair, sometime. A nice tight little pair..."

The mental image of Roxanne in a similar pair of gloves, stroking his aching cock was pushing him over the edge.

"To match that tight little blue butt..." He mewled. "Would you like that? For mommy to give that pert little ass a good spanking?"

"Oh,  **god!** "

Roxanne's grin was starting to make her face ache, but she was too turned on to care. "Yeah, I'd spank you good and hard. I'd make that tight little ass nice and pink... And then do you know what I'd do?"

"W-What..?" He was panting heavily, and she knew he was close.

"I'd grab that big blue dick," She smiled hearing him start to whine, "and I'd give it a good squeeze," she could hear him rubbing himself through the phone, "and I'd fucking pump that cock until I made you spurt."

"O-Oh, R-Roxa-anne..!"

"Come for me, Megamind." His breathing was frantic, and the sounds of his gloved hand wanking him off could be heard in the background. "Come, daddy...  **Come for me...** "

"Ohh-h, G-God! Rox-aahhh!" He sighed.

She thought after a good ten seconds he'd be done, but he surprised her with another strangled gasp or cry every now and then. After about a minute, he silenced, with just his heavy breathing as an indicator that he was still there.

"Wow, I made you come pretty hard, didn't I?"

"I've n-never... Oh god, Roxanne..." He slumped limply in the chair, twitching slightly every now and then. "You're amazing."

"I know, baby. Get some rest, you're gonna need it when I get back tonight." She smiled when she heard him chuckle darkly on the other end.

"I've got a length of rope with your name on it, missy..."

* * *

Roxanne tucked into her pancakes as Minion continued to pile more of the delectable confections onto her plate.

Megamind had a tower of his own pancakes topped with a sinful amount of every kind of sugary sauce imaginable. He stopped mid-chew when he clocked Roxanne glaring at the TV.

"Keep making that face and it'll stick like that when the wind changes..."

"Huh?" Roxanne looked up to see Megamind grinning. "Very funny, it's that... Hooker." She pointed a fork to the blonde woman who was taking up her usual early morning slot. "Bill phoned again. He told me to come in a bit later; now I know why!"

Megamind looked to the TV; this woman didn't have a patch on his Roxanne. She was skinny, peroxide blonde (not to mention atrocious roots), and the kind of bust which he didn't doubt was surgically enhanced.

"My dear, if you think this woman is competition, you have nothing to worry about..." He smirked. Roxanne narrowed her eyes. "What?"

"C'mon, she's probably ten years younger than me, and look at those tits-"

"I'd rather look at yours~" A clatter could be heard as Minion dropped one of the baking trays.

"Very funny. But look at it from my point of view; the average man," She placed a finger on his lips to shut him up before he could say anything, "which you are  **not** , my dear... The  _average_  man, as far as ratings and polls go, responds best to bleach blonde bay-watch rejects than chubby brunettes with boyish haircuts."

He frowned. "You're not chubby..." His despondence shifted to murderous. "Who said you were chubby?"

"No one, honey, no one." Roxanne laughed patting his forearm. "But compared to that stick insect, I am. And as soon as I get back on their screens my viewers will notice the difference."

"I don't understand why that would matter?"

"She's fresh meat, and I've been in this job so long... No, I can hear Bill's pen scratching from here. I'll be stuck cubicles from now on."

_'Not if I have anything so say about it...'_  Megamind mused. "Finish you breakfast, gorgeous; I'm driving you to work!"

Just as Minion was cleaning up the last of the plates and cutlery, he heard the roar of the invisible car as it left the lair. He let a dopey grin curl over his face as he thought about his master's new found happiness; if Megamind was happy, he was happy, and right now the warm fuzzy feeling he had was making him do little backflips in his bowl.

That was until Roxanne's replacement on the screen started reporting the hot news for the day.

"For reasons regarding slander, and defamation of character, we're not able to bring you the  **actual**  recording; but we  **can**  provide you a transcript..."

Minion's eyes widened as he read the words now scrolling up the screen. "Oh my goodness..."

"Needless to say, Metro's favourite reporter might not be as perfect as she appears-"

Minion picked up the remote, silencing the smug looking blonde. He reached for his own holowatch, and held down the communication dials. "Sir! Code: I think we might have a problem!"

* * *

Megamind was a lot of things, but subtle wasn't one of them.

They approached the large office building to the stares and pointed fingers of onlookers. Megamind had left the Hudson's invisibility shields off, and 'Shoot To Thrill' was blaring through the open windows.

Roxanne hopped out with a blush when the car rolled to a stop. Megamind followed, causing the reporter to panic.

"Uhh, what're you doing?"

"Fixing things."

"Fixing things..?" The reporter paled.

"Yup." He grabbed his gun, twirling it around a finger before catching her expression. "Oh don't worry, I'm not going to give anyone diarrhoea." He paused at her deadpan expression. "Well, maybe. But only if they ask for it. Promise!" He grinned.

Roxanne huffed, trying to ignore all the eyes burning into her back. "OK, come on then..."

A few people skittered out of the way when the front doors to the lobby slid open. The villain and reporter made their way to the elevator, the receptionist ducking behind her desk as they passed.

The elevator doors slid shut, and Roxanne turned to the alien. "If you get me fired-"

"I will not get you fired~" He leaned in, and kissed the tip of her nose.

* * *

"You're fired!"

"I'M WHAT?" Roxanne spat.

"You heard me, clean your desk and get out." Bill motioned to the alien waving his gun at the security guards in the hallway. "And take your  _dirty secret_ with you! You're both banned from his building, is that understood?"

Roxanne merely glared back, grabbing an empty box and leaving the office; making sure to slam the door as hard as she could.

Megamind stopped his tirade on the hired help to trot after his fiancee. "Sooo... That's not a box for you to move your stuff into a bigger office, is it?" He slunk back, his face nervous.

Roxanne took a deep breath before coming to a stop outside her own office. "Nope." She opened the door and dropped the box onto one of the larger desks.

The villain snapped the door shut behind them, before leaning against it. "This is all my fault."

The reporter rolled her eyes – a gesture lost on him since she was facing the other way. She opened the two main drawers in the desk and began dumping the contents into the large cardboard box.

"Oh, wow. I didn't know you had one of those?"

Megamind was suddenly behind her pointing to a bobblehead of himself in the drawer; a promotional gag gift the city had made, along with versions of Metro Man when it came to their 20th rivalry anniversary. Roxanne flicked the head of it with a finger, causing it to spring back and spin a few times.

"You know, you could always vent your spleen on the  _real thing_..?" He gave her a saucy grin. "I always thought you were pretty sexy when you got angry..." He trailed a finger down her back.

The reporter let out a bark of laughter. "Oh, don't be such a goon... Make yourself useful, then. Help me fill this box." She let out a high pitched squeal when he grabbed her, shoving her against the desk. Her skirt was flipped up before she had time to register the situation. "W-What?"

"You never specified _which_  box..." He purred, sliding a gloved hand up her bare thigh.

Roxanne slapped at his hand, her eyes glued to the large windows between her office and the hallway. "Stop it, you freak, anyone could walk past! Someone could see!" His grip on her only strengthened.

"Exhilarating, isn't it?" He started trailing wet kisses up the back of her neck. "The danger..." He suddenly stopped, disentangling himself completely, and pulling her skirt back into place as one of the office workers walked past the door.

"Bastard." She flicked him sharply on the forehead.

* * *

Roxanne dumped the brimming box into the back seat of the Hudson, before sitting up front.

"I still can't believe all the shit that's happened in the last few days. Can you believe it?" She reclined the seat slightly, making herself more comfortable.

"It has been a strange turn of events." He smirked. "So, we've got the rest of our lives free... What would you like to do?"

Roxanne smirked and flipped her sun visor down, sliding the cover for the mirror aside. "I look like hell... Think we could stop by the mall so I can get some makeup?" She'd left everything she owned back at her apartment when he'd 'bridenapped' her a few mornings ago. "And, some new clothes..? Specifically underwear."

"Of course, my dear. Where you are concerned, my bank account has no limits!"

_'He has a bank account..?'_  She narrowed her eyes. "I'll pay you back, seriously."

"Oh pish, tosh. No, you will be showered with gifts, Miss Ritchi, and there's nothing you can do about it!"

She found herself smiling. "OK, sure, spoil me. Lord knows I need it after today..."

And she did. The transcript of their little phone shenanigans had made it to the news, so every citizen in Metro thought she was some kind of two-timing hussy.  _'Let them think what they want...'_  She curled into the car seat eying her not-so-secret conquest.  _'They're just jealous.'_

Whoever had got the recording had only managed to get her side of the conversation, but it was incriminating enough by itself. The mental image of some up-and-coming reporter hiding behind the cubicle with a dictaphone crossed her mind, and Roxanne grimaced.

After a short while they made it to the mall. Megamind had called a number of brainbots to guard the car. He wanted people to know of his presence, but he didn't want so much as a scratch on the custom paint job, so his most viscous pets had been called upon.

'Attila' hovered above the bonnet snarling at passersby whilst 'Vlad' and 'Morpheus' kept to the sides.

'Schrödinger' made a strange hissing noise when he believed a member of the public was getting too close, and Roxanne's eyes widened.

"They're not going to kill anyone... Are they?"

"No no no. Not  _kill._  Maim, yes, but not kill." He grinned at a man now being chased by one of the airborne beartraps. "I hope you got your teta-noos vack-see-nation!"

Roxanne smirked at his horrendous mispronunciation. "Come on, crazy, let's go shopping."

* * *

Roxanne endured the strange stares as her and her blue beau walked into one of the department stores. For some reason, she was revelling in the attention, and ignoring her more rational side, linked arms with the villain.

"Are you sure I'm allowed to buy the expensive stuff..?" He'd assured her that money wasn't an issue, but a part of her still felt uncomfortable.

"My dear, you always look your very best, and so I would be offended if you didn't go overboard." He smirked. "You deserve the very best. Of everything." He waved a hand to one of the makeup counters. "Go nuts!"

Roxanne found herself smiling with him. "Twist my arm..."

In no time at all the brunette had filled a shopping basket with some of the most high-end, not to mention expensive, makeup and perfumes. Megamind merely followed her with the basket as she continued to throw things into it.

She held up a hair crimper, giving him a questioning look.

"Oooh, 80's! I love it. Put that in!" He squealed.

Roxanne grinned and did as she was told, throwing in a curling wand, and a set of straighteners for good measure.

"Thanks for all this by the way..." She kissed the tip of his nose before bringing her thumb down to rub off the red tinge her lips had left. "Oh, sorry!"

"For what..?" The alien looked puzzled.

"Getting my lipgloss all over you."

He smirked. "I don't mind; it means everyone knows that I belong to you, now."

Roxanne found herself grinning stupidly.

"E-Excuse me, miss?"

Roxanne and Megamind both turned to find a small man with a name tag trembling in front of them.

"You don't want me to call the police, do you?" He motioned towards the villain.

The alien rolled his eyes, but before he could spit back a sarcastic response, Roxanne was pointing the De-Gun at the sales assistant.

"I want you to get out of my face, unless you want to feel the full force of the," She gave the barrel a quick glance. "Decoupage setting..."

The thin man started shaking on the spot, "Oh my god, that's French for 'death', right?"

A wide grin was stretching across the villain's face, and Roxanne was finding it almost impossible not to smile with him. Why did acting bad feel so good?

"Yeah sure, whatever." She clicked the safety off and watched as the boy's eyes widened. "Bye!" She sneered, and the kid broke into a run, hitting a few of the shelves in his escape.

"My dear," Megamind took the gun from the reporter, holstering it, "how on Earth did you get this close to my thigh without me realising..?" he gave her a filthy grin.

"Evil Queen, remember?"

They rounded the corner coming up to the clothing section of the store.

Roxanne located the lingerie section and wasted no time in selecting the raciest and most risqué sets of undergarments. Black and blue of course. Megamind spotted them as they flew into the basket and grinned openly.

"When did I get so lucky?"

The brunette smiled back, and then spotted the swimwear section.

She hadn't gone to the beach in years, and one particular bikini set caught her eye. Yes, she was definitely going to have to go to the beach this summer.

Roxanne picked up a few blouses, skirts, and dresses, and while the villain wasn't looking she grabbed the swimsuit hiding it under the clothes she'd slung over one arm.

"I'm just gonna try these on. Wait for me?"

"I am going no where, my love..."

She bit back a giggle and entered the changing rooms. After the clerk gave her a token with the number of items, she went into one of the cubicles.

Megamind instantly hit the transmitter on his watch. "Minion! Code: Are you there?"

Almost instantly Minion's voice came through the speakers. "Yes sir! How did everything go? Oh, I was so worried-"

"Fine, fine, Minion. Absolutely fine." He paused, a sappy smile tugging at his lips. "Better than fine. Oh Minion, it's wonderful. We're  **shopping!** "

"Uhhmm, OK?" The henchfish replied. He was sure men were supposed to be scornful when it came to shopping; at least that's what television shows suggested. Minion on the other hand loved to get out of the house (in disguise of course) and browse the stores. But he wasn't a man; he was a fish, so he assumed the rules didn't apply to him.

"It's better than OK! It's-" Minion heard his master pause as Miss Ritchi called for him. "Oh, I have to go! I'll call you back!" He giggled, now sprinting for the changing rooms.

A few women recoiled in fear when they saw the villain entering, others merely stared in interest. Roxanne waved a hand out from behind one of the red curtains. "In here!"

He bit his lip with a devilish smirk, pushing past some of the stunned women without so much as a backward glance. He pulled the curtain back slightly, and almost buckled at the sight before him.

All anyone could see after that was a manicured hand grab the alien by the collar and pull him into the cubicle, before the curtain slid back into place.

"W-Wow... You... You look amazing..." His eyes roved over her voluptuous figure, drinking in every curve.

The top of the bikini brought her breasts up in a wonderful cleavage; the halter neck bringing special attention to her slender neck, and freckled shoulders. Below the waist was even better, somewhere between a brief and a thong, it accented the full swell of her hips. And to top it off, the whole ensemble was black and blue!

She turned, giving him a good look at her rear, and he bit back the instinctive wolf-whistle at the ruffles that curves around her ass. "Don't tease me, Roxanne. You know how much I love  **this.** " He brought both hands up to stroke up her thighs before clamping down on her derriere.

"You like the bikini, then?"

"I love the bi-OK, no, I'm not even going to try and pronounce that..." He sniggered.

"Would you like to see me try the rest of these clothes on?"

"I would like that very much..."


	6. Chapter 6

Roxanne smiled when she came to the battered front door to her apartment. It had been almost a month since Megamind had smashed his way into her home, and now she was living with him in Evil Lair. If she'd been told that her life was going to take such a strange turn, she never would have believed it.

The brunette unlocked the door, walking into the lounge. Megamind had offered to have Minion pick up her things, but she'd assured him that she would rather do the job herself. Plus there were a lot of 'lady things' that she didn't want to bother either of the guys with.

The pill being one in particular; Roxanne was usually so organised when it came to taking them, but the sudden change in her living arrangements had caused her to forget about them completely. She thought she was over that weird virus, but now it was coming back with a vengeance. Part of her had been horrified when she threw up out of nowhere one morning, paranoid that it could've been something  _else._

No, it was impossible. He wasn't even human, how could she be  **pregnant?**  Another terrifying thought surfaced; was this what he'd wanted all along? Did Megamind want her as his queen, just so he could sire some kind of heir..? She shook her head. It was ridiculous; so ridiculous in fact that the ex-reporter found herself laughing out loud.

Megamind was smart, but he wasn't calculating. He was bad, but he wasn't evil.

Roxanne giggled making her way to the bathroom with her shopping bag. On the way back to her old apartment, she'd dropped into one of the pharmacies and bought a number of different pregnancy tests. They weren't going to be positive anyway, so once they all showed the little negative signs she could just stop worrying about it.

Once the tests had all been 'activated', Roxanne set them down on the side of the sink. There was a faint tapping that sounded like it was coming from her balcony window. "Oh Megamind, you just couldn't resist..." She smiled. Roxanne gave the tests a fleeting look, before grabbing and stuffing them into one of the bathroom cabinets. Just in case.

The brunette left the bathroom, walking through the lounge and towards the large glass doors to the balconette. A large silhouette made her pause. "Wayne..?" She reached out, pushing the doors open, and felt a flicker of fear when she noticed the sadness in his eyes. Had something happened? "W-What's wrong..?"  _Please don't be Megamind... Please don't tell me something's happened to him..._

Wayne walked in, his usual confident gait completely abandoned. Something was wrong, and not knowing was simply torture. "Oh, Roxie..." He flopped down onto her sofa, and the sudden action caused the floor to rumble.

"Wayne, what's wrong? Has something happened to-"

"What? No, no..." He waved a hand dismissively. "This has nothing to do with your  _boyfriend._ " His mouth twitched in a smile, and Roxanne found herself smiling too.

"Y-You know about us, then..."

"Kind of hard not to. You're the talk of the town!" He grinned. "I just... I've not really got anyone else to talk to about this..."

"About what?" All her initials fears had subsided, but her natural curiosity was getting to her. "Hey, you came here to talk, so let's talk!" She started walking towards the kitchenette. "I'll put some coffee on."

"Thanks, Roxie..."

After a few minutes Roxanne came back with two steaming mugs. She set one down on the table in front of him. "So, what's troubling you?" Wayne had always been a good friend; he'd helped her afford her first rent check on this apartment for god's sake. It would be terrible of her not to at least give him an ear to bend; he looked like he needed it.

Roxanne thought for a moment; there wasn't anyone else he could turn to..? He'd never mentioned friends, and as far as she knew he didn't go out drinking with buddies, in fact his private life was a complete mystery. She'd known the man for years, and still knew nothing about him.

"The thing is..." The brunette turned her head slightly, watching him. "This is gonna sound so  _selfish..._ " He ran a massive hand over his face. "I... Don't think I can do this anymore."

"Do what..?" Roxanne wasn't stupid, but she wanted to hear him say it. " _What_  don't you think you can do anymore?"

"This!" He gestured to himself, the tassels on his gloves dancing back and forth. "This charade!" Wayne slumped against the sofa; the leather squeaked in protest as his colossal frame buried deeper into the backrest.

"Oh..." Was all she could say.

"Oh is right..." He folded his arms, frowning. "I just feel so  _stuck_ , y'know? Stuck in a job I don't even-" His eyebrows shot up and he turned to Roxanne. "Oh god, here's me whining about my problems, and you lost  _your_  job!"

Roxanne shook her head smiling. "Hey, that was weeks ago, I'm over it." She took a sip of her coffee, remembering the press coverage at the time; she still hadn't bothered to find out who the asshole was who'd snuck up and recorded her. "Anyway, you didn't come here just to talk about me."

"I know... It was such a dick move of them to fire you, though." Roxanne sniggered at his language; this was a side of him the public never saw. "And I didn't know you could be so  **bad!** " He nudged her playfully.

"Yeah well... I guess my fiancee's rubbed off on me..." She bit her lip, smiling.

"F-Fiancee..?" He quickly stood up off the sofa. "Oh my god,  **really?**  I-I'm so happy for you Roxie!" He picked her up, almost spilling her coffee, and pulled her into a huge bear hug. "I can't believe it!"

"Hey hey! Settle down!" She tried to keep her cup upright as he spun her in circles. "I'm gonna throw up if you don't stop that!" He abruptly ceased his actions, setting her back down on her feet. "Thanks..." She sighed, setting down her drink.

"You and Megamind, huh? I wondered how long it'd take you guys..." Wayne grinned, sitting back down.

"What do you mean..?"

"Well, it's obvious he's been crushing on you for years, and you always seemed to be having a bit too much fun playing villain and hostage..." Roxanne fixed him with an unimpressed look. "Hey, don't blame me, everyone kind of had the feeling something was going on there."

"What do you mean 'everyone'?"

" _Everyone_  everyone? C'mon, you're a reporter, you must've read the tabloid gossip at some point." She shook her head. "Really..?"

"Never. I was tempted, sure. But you hear about these celebrities that go nuts reading all the little things people make up about them. I didn't want to get involved in all that..."

"Oh, wow, lucky you." Roxanne raised an eyebrow. "It's just... There were quite a few weird stories at one point. Back in the early days, I mean."

"...like?"

"Uhm... Oh jeez, Roxie, you're really putting me on the spot here..." He shifted awkwardly, picking up his coffee and taking a huge gulp. "Well... Y'know that time really early in your career..? When you were a little bit..." He coughed nervously, not wishing to offend her. "B-Bigger..?"

"Yes..." She took a deep breath, feeling her hormones start to bubble up.

"There was this one story- Nobody even really believed it-"

"What, Wayne?" Roxanne was starting to lose her temper. "Just spit it out!"

"They thought Megamind might've... Knocked you up." There was an eerie silence, and the colossal man kept sneaking glances at the brunette. "You OK..?" She nodded dumbly. "Good."

"They really thought he'd taken advantage of me like that..?" She suddenly screamed.  _How dare they?_

"This was  _before_  everyone knew he was harmless, Roxie. They know now that his only target is me, and he's never been able to beat me so... There's no reason for them to think he's dangerous." Wayne sagged against the backrest of the sofa with a sigh.

Roxanne looked at him, registering the look in his eyes. "You really don't want to do this anymore, do you..?" He shook his head. "I... I think I might have an idea, Wayne."

* * *

Roxanne made her way back to Evil Lair, all her boxes placed neatly in the backseat of the invisible car; Megamind had given her the keys that morning, assuring her that what was his was now hers. She wished she could've said the same, but didn't believe he'd find much use for half a dozen cow-print kitchen towels, or her vast collection of cat figurines.

She zipped through the holographic wall, and parked the Hudson up, leaving her things inside. She could unpack properly later, first she really needed to speak with Megamind. Roxanne took a plastic bag out of the backseat; it was filled with the used pregnancy tests.

All of them positive.

The ex reporter made her way through the main portion of the lair; hearing only silence her heart began to race. She signalled a nearby brainbot. "Hey, tell me where daddy is?" Roxanne had practically died laughing the first time Megamind referred to himself as 'daddy' around the cyborgs. The little creations had warmed to her very quickly, and there wasn't a doubt in her mind that logically she now came under the title of 'mommy'.

Mommy, oh jesus christ, she was going to be a mommy...

Roxanne followed the floating beartrap anxiously. What was he going to think? Would he be pleased? Horrified? Elated? Suddenly the mental image of him building spiky cradles, and prams with built in lasers crossed her mind, and she snorted aloud. But was he ready? Were either of them really ready?

The little robot led her up the stairs to a mostly unused attic space. Roxanne's heart hammered in her chest when she caught a glimpse of Megamind who was doodling something on a drafting table with Minion beside him.

"Ollo~" She chanced with a smile. Megamind whipped round, his cape almost tangling him up in the movement.

"R-Roxanne!" He sped over, wrapping his arms around her. "Oh, I missed you so much..."

"Sir, it's only been two hours..." Minion rolled his eyes with a smile. Megamind was so smitten, and it brought him a sense of fulfilment to see his master this happy. The fish edged out of the room, leaving the two alone.

"I missed you too, baby..." Roxanne slung an arm around his neck, pulling him closer; he wasn't wearing his trademark spiny armour, and she was thankful. She loved to cuddle him like this, without having to worry about injury. It was cute that he'd made Minion fashion a new mantle, and gloves just for the purpose of in-lair canoodling.

A fly suddenly began buzzing around the pair, and Megamind huffed. "Ugh, just a sec, sweetie..." He walked over to one of the small windows, grabbing a sheet of paper as he started shooing the insect out. Shit. He wouldn't even hurt a fly. How was this idea with Wayne ever going to work..?

"Honey..."

"Yes, my  _evil angel?_ "

Roxanne grinned at that. "Well, I was thinking..."

"Oh, don't keep me in suspense, my dear!" He mounted one of the tables, flapping the paper wildly. "Honestly, they get in easy enough, but they're too stupid to get out again..." The blue man grumbled.

"Uhm, I was thinking, I've got no idea what to get you for a wedding present!"

"Oh, you don't need to get me a thing!" He quickly snapped the window shut as soon as the fly shot outside. "Just having you around is all the gift I'll ever need..." He jumped down, and took her in his arms again, pressing soft, needy kisses up her neck.

"W-What if..." She tried to stop her eyes rolling back from the pleasure he was causing her with every little nip and kiss. "What if I gave you something no one else could give you. What if I gave you something you've always wanted..?"  _What if I could help you get rid of the hero..._

"Roxanne." He pulled back to look her in the eye. " **You**  are what I've always wanted."

"Really..? But what about Metro Man?"

"Ugh, no, I don't want him!" He chuckled at her deadpan expression. "No, I understand your meaning, dear. But he could drop off the face of the Earth tomorrow, and I wouldn't bat an eyelid; you're the only one who matters right now."

"You sure know how to make a girl feel special..." She grinned, nuzzling into his chest; maybe this would work after all...

"Of course I do." He replied smugly, stroking her hair. "Hey, what's that..?" He queried, spotting the bag in her hand.

Roxanne's eyes widened. "Oh, well..." She went over to the door, making sure Minion wasn't on his way back. "Come here..!" She dragged the confused looking man over to one of the tables, pushing the blueprints out of the way before turning the bag upside down.

The tests fell with a clatter, and she braced herself awaiting his reaction.

The last thing Megamind remembered was the floor rushing towards him.

* * *

"Sir..? Sir?" Megamind felt a large pair of metal hands shaking him awake. "Wake up!"

" **Bah!** " He shot up with a start, holding his head. "R-Roxanne, where's Roxanne?" He attempted to stand, but Minion held him down.

"Sir, she's fine; eating dinner. You've been out for a while now. You hit your head pretty hard, sir... Don't get up just yet."

"I-I have to! I've g-got to talk to her, Minion!"

"What did I just say..?" Minion gave him the stink eye, and the blue man knew better than to argue. "That's better. I'll be back in just a minute; don't go  _anywhere._ " Megamind nodded.

As soon as he heard the mechanical footsteps of his minion ebb away, he shot to his feet; he glanced at the nearby table, noticing the tests were all gone before rushing down the stairs, and towards the dining room.

But she wasn't there.

He darted across the lair, yanking open door after door until he stopped in his tracks hearing the faint hiss of water; she was taking a shower! Megamind almost ripped the door off it's hinges in his excitement.

"Roxanne?"

The brunette quickly pulled the shower curtain in front of herself.

"Look, I know what happened back there might've... upset you, even annoyed you!" He furrowed his brow, pressing on. "But it was purely a  _biological_  reaction; my psychological reaction was one of  **pure joy..!** " He took a few tentative steps toward her. "You have to believe me when I say this is the best wedding present I  _ever_  could've asked for..."

"Megamind..." She sighed. Her eyes widened when he pulled back the shower curtain and stepped into the bath, curling his arms around her. "W-What are you-" She jumped slightly in surprise when his lips silenced her.

The kiss was long, and slow; his gloved hands found their way into her hair, and Roxanne moaned softly, opening her mouth. His tongue slid in, gently massaging her own until they both broke apart, breathless.

"I'm going to be a dad..." A smile stretched across his face slowly, and Roxanne nodded, feeling her own mouth curl up. "We're going to have a baby..!" He started jumping up and down, enthusiastically.

The brunette giggled, still feeling the stream of hot water trickling against her skin. "You really think we're ready?" She asked, grinning.

"Oh, it can't be that difficult..." He waved a hand dismissively. "I fully understood cold fusion at the age of three; this will be a piece of pie~"

"Cake." She corrected him, still grinning from ear to ear.

"Ah yes. I do believe when it comes to the basics of the human vernacular, you might be the one best suited to teach said subject." Roxanne raised an eyebrow. "Well we can't have little Roxie Jr going to school butchering words left right and center, can we?"

"Roxie Jr..?" The ex-reporter gave him her best deadpan look, but couldn't keep it up before she lapsed back into a fit of giggles. "How're you so sure we're not gonna have a  _mini Megamind?_ "

His eyebrows rose. "I-I suppose that  _is_  an equal possibility..." A little version of him, but with her eyes maybe? He felt a dopey expression start to form on his face, until he remembered something. "Wait, what happened to the tests? They weren't there when I woke up."

"I stuffed them back in the bag, and threw it in the bin." He gave her a puzzled look. "I had to  **pee**  on them y'know? What did you want to do, frame them?"

"Maybe..." He looked off shyly, and Roxanne burst out laughing. "Oh, no..."

"What..?" She queried, tilting her head.

"That means Minion wasn't the one to throw them out, so he doesn't know... And I kind of ditched him just now when I woke up. He's not going to be very happy about that." He gave her a shy smile. "He explicitly told me  _not to go anywhere._ "

"SIR!" Came the voice of an obviously aggravated Minion on the other side of the door.

"Speaking of momma Minion..." Megamind huffed. "In here, you scaly son of a bitch!" He called out, giggling. He quickly jumped out of the shower, pulling the curtain across. Minion cracked the door open with a toothy pout. "Code: Cheer up! You're going to be an uncle!"

Minion frowned, not quite understanding; suddenly a wave of realisation crashed over him. "U-Uncle..?" His bulbous eyes widened.

Roxanne peeked her head out from around the shower curtain. "Yup. Now you've got a wedding  _and_  a baby shower to help organise!"

Minion started spinning in his bowl. "OH GOODNESS!" He did a few backflips, hardly believing what he'd heard. "A LITTLE SIR OR MISS?"

Megamind and Roxanne both started laughing as they watched the fish swimming in circles.


End file.
